Last night my wife and I received a dreadful call. A man that was the best of men, that lived a God-fearing, compassion filled life, that my wife and I loved dearly, that recently married, and started a family with the woman whom he described as the girl of his dreams, died yesterday, April 16th. He's gone. I can't believe it. He was only 33. My wife and I listened to his sobbing, shocked wife tell us that he was standing at a restaurant when he simply dropped to the floor. Two paramedics were actually dining at the next table over. What should have been a stroke of fortune was meaningless. They could not revive him.

I've got to pull it together. Writing this helps. I have a lot to do before the plane flight north. I'm sick from weeks of bronchitis and other illness, and so is my wife. We're a sorry pair right now.

If you knew him, you loved him. It was that simple. At 6ft 4, trim, muscular, and bald he looked a lot like Jason Stathom the actor. When he shook your hand it was only for a second, and then he'd reach out to hug you. Don't get me wrong. The guy was tough as nails, and firm as the Earth we stand on when it came to matters of God and family. But he had a way of making you laugh, a way of calming a person, and a life that was lived without anger or fear toward anyone or anything. He never lectured or assumed any air of authority on anything. When he had an opinion, he offered it kindly and well thought out. That's just one of the reasons his opinions always meant something to me, why I would find myself thinking about things he said for days after he said it.

This guy had a very difficult life from age 1 to age 33, but that's not the way he saw it. He changed everything I thought I knew about how to live a meaningful life. I am the better for having known him, in the most meaningful sense of the phrase.

Last night I had a dream that shook me to the core and was painful in the extreme when I woke up just a few hours ago, but somehow it was oddly comforting.  My wife, he and I were taking one of our late afternoon weekend walks beside the river just as the snow was melting and spring was rumbling deeply in the forest waters we walked beside. "You can't blame God bro!" he said with a concerned and sincere look. "We had it good! You guys got your marriage back, I got the family I had always dreamed about, and we had some great fun together! I'll see you again, I promise."

As usual, he's right in every way.

Someone good, a young and energetic man, a bright way of light and a rock to all those who knew him, is gone from the world. But his glowing afterimage, his contagious optimistic enthusiasm, will live on in anyone who remembers him.

According to Kepler Mission Manager Jim Fanson, "Flight controllers have transitioned Kepler out of its low-activity safe mode and have powered on its main instrument, the photometer."  A few days ago the telescope suddenly went into safe mode and this delayed powering up the photometer, which apparently occurs first and then the dust cover comes off. The word "photometer" doesn't quite capture how impressive that instrument really is...but that's what I like about engineers. They call it like it is. Click the image to open a new window with a full size version of the picture showing where Kepler will be looking.

The shuttle is undocked and getting ready for a March 28th landing. It performed an incredible 360 flyby around the space station before moving off to its earth bound trajectory. Landing is scheduled for 1:39 p.m. Saturday at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida with a second opportunity one orbit later at 3:14 p.m.

On March 30th at around 8:50pm Pacific Time, I will be able to look up and watch the ISS pass overhead traveling at 27,700 kilometres (17,210 mi) per hour and 350 km (190 nautical miles) above. With it's new solar array, the ISS is expected to be shine at magnitude -3.6. I've been a skywatcher since I was 10 years old and I've seen only two things ever shine anywhere near that expected brightness: Venus and the fireball that landed in Monterey Bay, California back in 1984(?). I can't wait to see what this looks like.

Today Expedition 19 launched from Khazakhstan in a Soyuz TMA-14 rocket with astronauts on board heading for the ISS.

The Kepler Space Telescope is now 1.5 million kilometers (930,000 miles) from Earth and still receding. The final tests on its calibrations are finished and all systems check out. Take the lens cap off already!!

All of the 340 worlds we've discovered orbiting other suns are Jupiter sized...or larger. Jupiter is really big. I mean truly staggering in size. The "great red spot" itself, a hurricane that has lasted about 300 years, is a bit larger than the earth.

I think this photo montage puts things in perspective nicely. 

Now imagine worlds two to three times that size orbiting their suns at a distance closer than that of the planet Mercury. Such expoplanets are called "Hot Jupiters", and man are they HOT. Some of them orbit their suns at only 1/8 the distance of Mercury. Their "sunward" side bakes at thousands of degrees while the dark side glows red hot as the heat whips winds around the planet at speeds exceeding supersonic velocities. Not a great place to take a vacation. 

But now we are going to search for the smaller worlds using the Kepler Space Telescope. This is really tough science but NASA has 100,000 stars picked out to scan repeatedly. They are about 3,000 light years away. As of today, NASA reports the telescope is in the process of calibration and still has its lens cap on. Probably be at least another week before that cap is removed and Kepler takes its first look into deep space. This could be very cool.

We've discovered over 340 Jupiter sized (or larger) exoplanets orbiting other stars since 1995. Now its time to search for worlds more our own size.  Kepler will analyze the light from 100,000 stars every 30 minutes with a 95 million pixel camera. The NASA team I watched last night said there are about 15,000 high probability candidate stars that could have earth-sized worlds. As far as we know, it's a good thing to have a Jupiter sized world orbiting in the same solar system in order to suck up or deflect dangerous asteroids hurtling around.  So, solar systems with tiny worlds like our own with larger worlds like Jupiter in them would most approximate what we know as a good thing.

Kepler will be in service orbiting the earth for the next 3 1/2 years. The prediction is that the list of known Jupiter class planets in our catalog will jump exponentially. But its that first earth like world, if it exists, that will really be riveting.

To anyone that might know, I have a question. I know that our G-class yellow dwarf sun is somewhat of an oddity being without a companion star (unless you believe the Nemesis theory...hey it's just bizarre enough to be true). Would it be possible for a habitable zone to exist in a binary star system? What about a trinary system?

Is it possible that a racist backlash could be the result of the severe amount of violence being imported from Mexico? When I lived in Spokane, Washington I thought the Russian mafia was bad, but the Mexican cartels definitely raise the bar.  They may also be the root cause of a coming racist back lash in America toward Mexicans that could, in my opinion, result in severe persecution, part of which could be internment camps.

Consider this data:
http://www.cis.org/ImmigrantGangs
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479906,00.html

Add to this our own economic instability and you have a volatile cocktail of possibilities.

Arizona is considered the #1 abduction state in the U.S., and this is directly attributed to the activities of the Mexican drug cartel. This means that citizens of another country are terrorizing citizens of our country. The last time I checked, this sort of thing fits the definition of a clear and present danger.

Are You Part of the Problem?

A major revenue stream for cartels relies on a highly structured corporate model of marijuana distribution. They are highly organized and sophisticated. If you smoke pot, and cannot be 100% sure that it did not originate somewhere within a cartel supply line, then you could be supporting domestic terrorism. Not a possibility I would want to be associated with.

If your neighbor is smoking pot, and you know FOR SURE that it's NOT for medical purposes, your obligation is to turn them in...anonymously of course. Any other means will only put your life, and the life of your family, in mortal danger. So, if you can't get away with it, don't do it.

If you are in law enforcement, a cop or otherwise, and you are turning the other cheek for a friend you know is smoking pot illegally, and you cannot be 100% sure the pot did not originate within a cartel supply line, you are no different than the pathetically weak Mexican police force that is largely in a cartel's back pocket. Get a spine and do your job. Better yet, if you are a citizen aware of someone in law enforcement behaving this way, turn them in. But be VERY careful. If you cannot do this anonymously, then don't do it. Your life and that of your family could otherwise be put in mortal danger.

If you are indirectly supporting the cartels as mentioned above, and a racist backlash occurs by Americans fed up with their friends and family being threatened, abducted, and murdered by Mexicans (they will not make the distinction of "Mexicans involved with cartels"...that's why it's racist) then you must hold yourself as one of those that helped perpetuate the persecution if/when it happens. Not only have you supported the cartels, you are now indirectly responsible for the social backlash. If this is who you want to be, then leave the U.S. immediately, because I promise you that rooting out supporters of the "hated Mexicans" will not be far behind (McCarthyism was not all that long ago, think about the parallels) and you will in turn be labeled a traitor and it won't be long before you are chopping rocks next to the gang member that supplied your high.

It Can't Happen Here
Nobody wakes up in the morning believing their country is capable of slipping into barbarism. Yet, it happens throughout history on a regular basis, even to the most "civilized" societies. Let's not fool ourselves.

Since the U.S. government has been unwilling to secure the safety of its citizens from foreign aggression by enforcing border security with ruthless efficiency, the lives of both Mexican Americans citizens and Mexican nationals living here illegally could actually be in danger. Not all illegal "immigrants" are bad people. To say otherwise would be racist. For their own safety, and the safety of Americans with Mexican heritage, we need to demand that our borders be made secure by every means possible.  Otherwise I see the real possibility of racism supplanting reason and terrible consequences on the horizon.

Unbelievable. My head hurts from thinking about it. My neck is getting tight and my back is starting to ache. Perhaps I should go get a massage. Even better, if I'm a teacher in these parts of California, my health insurance will cover the massage! Hey, it covers 4 per month! Wow! Those things aren't cheap you know. 

I wonder what else the California tax payer covers on my behalf? Too bad most of them can't afford to pay for their own health insurance, this is really good stuff.

Oh look, gastric bypass is covered. It doesn't even have to be deemed medically necessary! Well, three of my friends just had that procedure done. Said it was a cinch.

Oh, but just last week they decided to take this out of our health plan in order to tighten up the budget. Wow, what a bunch of tight wads. I wonder what other goodies are in here.

My patience is getting thinner than an Olsen twin. I'm tired of dealing with call centers in India outsourced by American companies such as my internet service provider, my financial software, even my flipping credit report! It's not that I can't understand their English. It's not easy, but I can get through it. It's the scripts they are forced to read when dealing with me. It takes then FOREVER to diagnose my issue, much less offer a viable solution. In some cases lately, with a particularly expensive piece of software, I got my money back (which will be more than my state government will do for me this tax season).

Friggin' penny pinching misers in San Francisco and Seattle can slobber over a pretentious $4.00 cup of coffee, send money to OTHER countries to fight disease or hunger, but they can't invest a penny into a decent customer service approach. I should bill them for the time wasted and money I had to put in the "cuss jar" for the colorful language I used between each call. Though I must admit some of my slang and slander required a bit of creativity I didn't know I possessed. Anyway, not a good sign for American companies supposedly founded on innovation. They are outsourcing their common sense. Their innovation now seems to focus on finding new and unusual ways to screw me after the sale. The arrogance in doing this to their loyal customers is almost a thing of beauty.

"Welcome to (company name here) customer service. Please bend over, bite down on something semi-soft, and press 1 to begin." I can almost hear the virtual snapping of latex gloves.

The American companies investing less in customer service by adopting this tactic are already losing my business. I'd name names but their lawyers are saber toothed tigers that troll blogs looking for their next meal. I have switched to several Canadian companies for services and software which will remain unnamed. Suffice it to say I find Nova Scotian call centers MUCH more polite, agile in the thinking department, and actually helpful. It's not unpatriotic of me to do this. My business clients demand performance, and I can't give them their money's worth if the weakest link is two 900lb. software guerrillas that are trying to rip off the arm that feeds them.

Obvious temptation. Not lust, not outright greed, not unmistakable coveting. More like the urge to berate kindly with an insulting tone while smiling at someone with whom I've "had it up here". The monotony of my middle years as they appear now contrasted with my youthful life...which was probably actually so youthful as to be described gently as reckless and frankly as dangerous....has bred in me a keen resentment of myself for the choices I've made. Tired of things going wrong, or people being unreliable (I should talk), or the things I'm not doing for various reasons that have more to do with apathy than ability. Together these things, I realized today, can be boiled down to the sins Jesus so clearly warns about: Pride and sloth.

I workout. I lift weights and swim 2800 to 3800 yards every day. But I don't have a choice. If I don't workout then my unique and rare form of Scoliosis will overcome me and my back will go out. My muscles are the only thing keeping my twisting spine in check. If I get physically lazy I pay for it. When my back goes out I have to have syringes stuck in the undersides of my rib cage near my spine. These syringes are filled beta blockers to stop the spasms that rack me with pain so severe it makes each breath a lightning net of pain in parts I didn't know I had. The nerve bundles that come out of the spine and run beneath each rib get impinged at where they are threaded through holes in the vertebrate because my spine is so unorthodox in its journey from my tail bone to my skull. But I don't resent God for this problem. It has made me emotionally stronger and truly improved my sense humor, oddly enough. It has forced me to stay in shape when I would truly rather write, watch TV, play video games online with my nephews on the other side of the country, or sit and read a good book. Physical sloth is not  what I'm talking about. I just now believe that apathy is a very dangerous form of sloth.

Perhaps God has spared my slothful nature from extending into the physical by giving me my spinal deformity. Could it be he knew my nature before I was born? Seems obvious, though I've heard that phrase a thousand times. Now I get.

So, I am suddenly aware that the Devil (of whom by the way I don't believe is standing behind our new President with a pitchfork up his...) has delighted in the subtle, quiet, erosion of my spirit that I have unwittingly allowed. I have allowed myself to create a set of rules to live by which I mistakenly believed "work for me". I should have realized what I was doing. Anytime a Christian begins to live by their own rules we are instantly a step back in our walk with the Father. All I've done is feed into the strategy of the damned. I need to reassess and take action. Feeling good that I have figured this out is worthless without action, and my even again lead to pride at thinking I'm smart and wise. I am not.

I haven't done anything "really bad". Just allowed complacency to open the door to a growing sense of resentment about things I have not achieved or sadness about the people I have not shown enough respect or attention to;  the people that really have made a huge and positive impact on my life. Pride and apathy are gateway drugs to larger spiritual problems. They seem so harmless, almost temporary at times. They are not either.

I believe blatant temptation is easier to deal with than such subtlety.

The parallels here I began to realize while reading "The Slight Edge" by Scott Olsen. It's the little things that will make you successful (spiritually or financially...guess which is truly more important) or destroy you eventually. There is no homeostasis. When I began to turn this understanding to my marriage and my friendships I realized that people are either moving closer together or farther apart. There is no holding pattern, only an imperceptibly slow movement toward or away from each other...like the orbit of the moon which is slipping ever outward from Earth at the rate of 12 inches per year.

I get it now. The Slight Edge is either working for you or against you. Satan clearly understands this principle and has mastered it. But I have been praying for wisdom a LOT lately, and then this thought comes rushing over me like a violent paradigm shift in my perception of reality. Soul shaking awareness like waking up from a bad dream only to find that what I've been doing while I was asleep is not good.

It's like water slicing through Granite. It doesn't happen all at once, but the effects over time can be dramatic. This is painful, but since when has learning valuable lessons been anything else? It took me 40 years to figure this out? First lesson...I am not as smart as I thought I was. I will not forget it.

I wonder on this question. If my life were to be edited down to a 2 minute Super Bowl commercial (in the U.S. these are when the best commercials get played...half-time rockstar wardrobe malfunctions notwithstanding) how would it go?

Given that the point of a commercial is to convince the viewer that your product / service / existence can meet their needs in a timely and fiscally sound fashion, what could my commercial possibly be about?

Would it be flashing images with sparse piano music lilting in the background with a mature male narrative voice discussing the highlights of my life and why it matters, like a Lexus commercial? Or would it be a warning to others, like an anti-tobacco commercial? I know I've been toxic for some people, how does this blend with the person I've tried to become? Would it show me, or the idea of me? Could it include my vision of the future as well? I m ean, at some point in the ad, do I reveal that soon there will be a new and improved Darterius....Darterius 2.0?

This could take some time to figure out. I'm starting to hear "Hi, Willy Maze here with an exciting new...."

Hmmm. Not a good sign.